


robot in the dorms

by itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualweeb)



Series: pff bingo 2019 [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Coffee, Fluff, Happy Ending, International Students, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Robots, Roommates, Unrequited Love, honestly the fact the original robot character(s) is a tag is incredible, just to clarify dan and phil are not robots, not realistic at all, oh my god they were roommates, phil makes a robot, set in florida
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmyusualweeb/pseuds/itsmyusualphannie
Summary: dan goes to university in florida and meets his roommate phil. after a few months, and despite dan's facade of disinterest, he begins to actually like phil and his nerdy ways. the robot that phil designs doesn't help.or: another "oh my god they were roommates" fic but COOLER because robots





	robot in the dorms

**Author's Note:**

> written for the phandom bingo fest 2019, prompt 'androids/robots'! beta'ed by the lovely [kishere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishere/pseuds/kishere) ([@filiisaceaf](https://filisaceaf.tumblr.com/))! please check out her fics, they're incredible

_ Bang! _ The door of the dorm room crashed shut behind Dan and he winced at the noise. His black suitcase thunked against his heels as he shuffled forward, glancing around the room. It was small but well-lit, with tall windows spanning the length of one wall and allowing a generous view of the campus outside. There were two beds, two dressers, and an ugly orange rug that made Dan’s eyes burn when he looked too long at it. Only one side of the room was bare, left empty for Dan to occupy.

The other occupant of the room had jolted when the door slammed, sitting up on his bed. Dan glanced at the paraphernalia sprawled across his new roommate’s bed and dresser.

“...Hi,” said Dan, after a too-long pause.

The other man had been regarding him with a smile. He hopped off the bed when Dan spoke. “Hello!” he said. His voice was bright, and notably very British. “You must be Dan!”

“Yep.” Dan trudged forward and hauled his suitcase onto the empty bed. “And you’re Phil.”

“I am!” Phil had moved closer when Dan turned around, his arm outstretched. Dan glanced down with bemusement at the hand that was being offered and shook it reluctantly. “Nice to meet you!” Phil continued. “It’s weird that they’d put both of us international students in the same room. You’d think they’d want us to be with someone who actually lives here in Florida so we’d learn more about it.”

Dan shrugged and shoved his released hand into his pocket, glancing over Phil’s shoulder at the posters adorning Phil’s side of the room. “Cool posters,” he said.

“Thanks,” said Phil automatically, then, “Oh, do you like video games?”

Dan tugged the zipper on his suitcase open and flipped the lid, revealing a PS4 with the cords wrapped tightly around it to conserve space. It was nestled between rolls of jeans and folded shirts. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Ooh.” Phil hovered behind him. “Nice, I have an Xbox. What are your favourite games?”

“Name one and I’ve probably played it.” Dan found himself, hesitantly, beginning to like this guy and his overabundance of enthusiasm. He glanced at the CD shoved into one of his suitcase’s many side pockets. “What...music do you like?”

“That’s a loaded question,” Phil said thoughtfully. “I like almost everything. I’d have to say my all-time top band is Muse, though.”

Dan felt a smile tugging at his lips. He turned back toward Phil, attention fully on his roommate. “Oh, yeah? That’s my favourite too.”

“You have good taste,” Phil informed him. “They’re a great band.”

Dan was smiling unhesitantly now. “Yeah. They are.”

“Yep.” Phil was grinning back at him.

_ This,_ thought Dan, _ this might turn out okay. _

_ This is not okay_, thought Dan, just as someone’s shoulder collided with his back and sent him stumbling into his dorm room. The door had been hanging open suspiciously, but he was grateful for it now since he’d avoided face-planting into it.

Someone screamed in the hallway and Dan cringed. The mass of bodies he’d had to push through in order to get to his room was...excessive. He had no idea what was happening out in the hall and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“Oh, hey,” said Phil from his bed.

Dan stared at him dumbly. His roommate looked ridiculously comfortable and Dan was a little envious. He was sprawled across his bed, head dangling off the edge as he peered sideways at Dan, and legs propped up against the wall beside his bed

“...Hey,” said Dan.

“There’s a party going on, I think,” Phil offered. He had a textbook resting face-down on his chest.

“Oh. Cool.” It was not cool. It was only two weeks into the semester. Parties at this time were ridiculous.

Phil sighed deeply and turned back to his textbook, lifting it from his chest to peruse the crinkled pages. His head was lifted at an odd angle since there wasn’t anything to rest it on, and it suddenly looked incredibly uncomfortable. Dan watched him for a long moment, unblinking, then crossed the room to his own bed and sat heavily.

Another scream made its way into their room. Dan had not shut the door behind him, so he watched disinterestedly as two bare-chested, bellowing guys sprinted past with a flailing girl hoisted on their shoulders. More people milled around outside, their chatter indecipherable.

“Do you have any homework?” Phil asked. Dan could only see the top of his head now. There were tiny ginger strands invading the deep black of his hair.

“Always,” said Dan, although he found it entirely unfair that he should have so much work when he’d barely even started the semester.

Phil dropped the textbook onto his chest again and let his head fall back until his upside-down gaze met with Dan’s. “Want to join the riot?”

“Sure,” said Dan. _ Not really_, he meant.

Phil tossed the textbook to the side and clambered off the bed, almost falling and braining himself against his dresser. Dan stared at his abandoned textbook as it toppled toward the edge of the bed but didn’t quite fall. It teetered ominously.

“Cool. Uh, do you drink?” asked Phil.

Dan didn’t look away from the precarious textbook. “Isn’t the drinking age different in America?”

“Well, yeah, but.” Phil shrugged, shoving his differently-socked feet into the discarded shoes by the door. “Pretty sure I saw someone lugging an actual barrel of alcohol past earlier, so I’m not sure it matters.”

Reluctantly, Dan stood as Phil waited for him by the door. “I dunno. Maybe.” Crossing the room, he pushed the textbook further onto Phil’s bed. He did not feel like the textbook appreciated his effort as much as it should have.

Phil headed out into the hallway and Dan followed him, navigating around a group of students sitting cross-legged in a circle on the floor. He didn’t know where Phil was going, but also wasn’t sure he cared to know. “Do you like parties?” he asked Phil’s back.

“Well, not really,” Phil said. Dan could barely hear him over the conversations going on around them. “But it’s part of the experience, right?”

Dan wasn’t entirely positive, but he shrugged anyway. Phil didn’t see it.

“Are _ you _ a party person?” Phil asked, glancing back over his shoulder. He almost collided with a couple making out against the wall.

It was really a ridiculous question. Dan didn’t think he had done anything at all over the past two weeks that would make Phil think he was a party person. A tiny snort escaped him, but when Phil raised a questioning eyebrow back at him, he just shook his head. “Not really,” he echoed Phil.

“I guess we’re both getting out of our comfort zones,” Phil said brightly.

Something squished under Dan’s foot. He squinted down at the floor, barely able to see it in the dim hallway lights, and realized he had stepped on a banana. Sighing heavily, he kicked it away. It slapped wetly against someone’s bare ankle. Dan hurriedly made his way after Phil, who was already a dozen paces down the hall. Someone squealed behind him, probably the person who’d just been assaulted by a banana peel.

“This looks like the life of the party,” said Phil when Dan had caught up to him. He was standing at the entrance to the common area, staring uncertainly at the chaos inside.

Dan blinked slowly at the room. There was a group attempting karaoke, their voices screeching painfully through the entire area; muscular jock types milling around a pool table, laughing uproariously and slapping each others’ backs; multiple people dangling on the couches, tables, and chairs around the room; and a dozen or so giggling in the corner with hands full of suspiciously-sloshing red plastic cups. A barrel was almost exactly in the centre of the room. A guy dressed only in tight boxer briefs and thigh-high socks bellowed “KEG STAND” and crashed into the barrel, but immediately three or four people who had been hovering around the barrel hauled him back to his feet.

“Well,” said Phil. “That looks...exciting.”

Someone vomited onto the pool table.

“I think I’ve had a great college party experience. My experience is...complete.” Dan took a long, slow step backwards.

“Yeeaah,” said Phil, dragging the word out. “Do you...want to go back to the dorm room and play Donkey Kong?”

“Yeah, let’s,” said Dan.

“Let’s.”

They did.

Two months later, Dan had no idea what made him want to go to college. He was tired literally all of the time. His eyes were so bleary when he stumbled into his dorm room that he didn’t see Phil at first. His mouth opened in a jaw-cracking yawn and he shoved backwards with his foot until it connected and the door swung shut. It was only after he carelessly tossed his backpack toward his bed that he saw Phil. One arm was sprawled across the desk as he slumped over it, fingers twitching as he dreamed. His glasses were crooked on his face and his mouth was open as he drooled a little drop of spittle onto the computer that his face was smashed into.

Dan should not have found it as attractive as he did. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes, and crossed the room to shake his roommate’s shoulder. “Hey, wake up.”

“Whuh,” mumbled Phil. He shuffled away from the touch, burying his face into the unforgiving plastic of his laptop case. The frame of his glasses screeched against it.

Wincing, Dan tried again. “Wake up, dork. You fell asleep working on your...robot thing again.”

“Huh!” With a start, Phil awoke, snorting in alarm. His arm flailed and something toppled off the desk, but he just yawned hugely and squinted around until his gaze fell upon Dan. “Oh. ‘G morning.”

“It’s afternoon,” said Dan. “I just got back from my second class.” He couldn’t look away from the glasses that were hanging lopsidedly from Phil’s nose. One side of the frame was drooping sadly halfway down his cheek.

Dan sighed and reached out to correct the placement, pushing the glasses back into their correct place. Phil just blinked dimly up at him.

“What’s today,” he said, voice hoarse with sleep.

“Wednesday?” said Dan, but it was more of a question. He wasn’t entirely sure, himself. The days all seemed to blur together, especially near the middle of the week when it was just class after assignment after class after test.

“Oh,” said Phil dumbly, and then, “Oh!” He turned frantically to his computer, fingers scrabbling at it for a few long moments before he yanked it open. Dan shamelessly glanced over his shoulder as Phil hurriedly opened his email and refreshed it. Phil ignored the multiple unread emails and opened one from a few weeks ago. He sighed deeply upon skimming over it.

“It’s not due until tomorrow night,” he said, clearly relieved.

“What’s not due? Oh, your project.”

“Yeah, but just the coding part. I can build the actual mechanical part later, and then audio will be due at midterms.” Phil shut the laptop. He scrubbed at his eyes and sighed. “I need coffee. I need to finish this, but I need coffee first. Want to go get some?”

Dan had already had about three coffees this morning, but what would one more hurt? He agreed, Phil shoved his computer into his backpack, Dan ignored his own bag and its loads of homework, and they set off towards the campus’ closest coffee shop.

They were regulars, and were both friendly to anyone who supplied them with caffeine, so the barista greeted them as soon as they walked inside.

“Hey, Bry,” Phil returned her greeting and headed toward their usual table in the corner to haul his computer out and set it up. Dan ordered their usual drinks, two caramel macchiatos, and then after a quick glance at the deep bags beneath Phil’s eyes, had two extra shots added to Phil’s. He examined his own fingers, then. They were trembling. He probably didn’t need the extra shots for himself.

“Thanks,” said Dan once Bryony handed him the drinks. He joined Phil at the table, but took his time walking over. It was disconcerting how good Phil looked, even sleepy and rumpled. “How much do you have left?”

Phil slurped loudly at his coffee before answering. “Too much. Can you get the - ?” He waved halfheartedly at his backpack sprawled beside him on the floor, and Dan obediently leaned over to dig in it and pull out what Phil was most likely referring to - a chunk of twisted metal with wheels and soldered antennae. It _ thunk_ed solidly when he placed it on the wooden table next to Phil’s laptop.

Phil pet the ugly hunk, almost absentmindedly. Dan scowled down at the long pale fingers stroking the unfeeling lines of metal, wondering exactly how jealous he should feel. He took a sip of his own coffee. Maybe he _ did _ need the extra shots.

“It’s this _ code_,” Phil groaned. He let go of the metal disaster and smashed the keyboard on his laptop, somehow managing to type something in the mess. “I’m trying to get it to perform _ actual _ functions and all it can do is drive around in circles.”

“That’s a function, isn’t it?”

“I mean. Yeah, but I want it to be unique. This isn’t…” Phil waved a hand at the innocent, hideous metal. “...I can’t even call it a robot.”

Dan didn’t know anything about electrical engineering, but he was fairly sure that it _ could _ be considered a robot. He gulped down a mouthful of macchiato instead of saying anything.

“I need...I need,” Phil muttered. He said something else inaudible, then took the lid off his coffee and buried his face in the opening, inhaling the steam.

Dan considered being concerned. “You can do it,” he said, but his tone was too flat to sound encouraging. He poked the robot thing. Its wheels squealed against the table as he pushed it toward Phil. “Robot says you can do it.”

“Robot is a liar,” Phil pulled away from his coffee inhalation just enough to inform Dan.

“Well,” said Dan. “I can’t inspire you. I only got up this morning for class because it was philosophy and I wanted to argue with the dumbass from yesterday who said Freud was a legend. Otherwise, I’d still be in bed and it’s…” He patted his pocket for his phone, and, not finding it, squinted at the screen of Phil’s laptop, “...it’s almost three.”

“What a life,” Phil said dully.

Dan patted the metal chunk. “You should just make it into an alarm clock. But like, one that attacks you if you don’t get up.”

“Huh,” Phil agreed unenthusiastically, and then, thoughtfully, “_Huh_.”

“I was joking,” Dan pointed out.

Phil set down his coffee. “Hmm,” he said.

“Hmm,” Dan repeated, but it reached tones of infinite suspicion. “Lester, don’t do it.”

Phil was already typing away at his laptop. “It’s a good idea,” he said. “It’s better than what I had. Which was...nothing.”

Sighing deeply, Dan sat back in his chair. Maybe he should just go with it. It couldn’t hurt anything, could it? Phil hadn’t been able to get the thing to do anything other than trundle in circles for almost a month, and his project was due the next day. Surely he would abandon it after he had to show it to his instructor.

Yeah, Dan would just go with it.

Dan had decidedly changed his mind after just one month.

“Phil!” he called, knowing that his roommate would be able to hear him over the sound of running water from their shared bathroom. He glared down at the tiny chunk of metal that had whirred across the room and attached itself to his foot as soon as he walked in the door. At first, it had been cute - but the “freely roaming the room” part was a problem. Although incredibly simple, the small robot zipped _ everywhere _ around the room and, despite Phil’s promises that it wouldn’t actually work as an alarm clock, had even climbed into Dan’s bed once. He had woken up to a chirruping metal blob on his chest, so naturally, he had screamed and thrown his blankets - along with the robot - onto the floor.

The water in the bathroom shut off. “What?” Phil yelled back.

The tiny antennae on the robot’s hulk swivelled. Dan frowned at it. He knew the thing didn’t have any cameras, but he still wasn’t sure how it heard anything or how it navigated. Phil claimed that it ran via solar power and soundwaves, but Dan had once seen it chug its way across the silent room at midnight to bury itself under a pile of socks.

The bathroom door opened, and Dan realized that he hadn’t replied to his roommate. He glanced up just as Phil stepped out, steam sweeping past him to humidify the dorm room. As usual, he was draped in far too many towels. Dan stared for a moment too long at the drops of water beading on Phil’s neck and creeping down his chest, and then he yanked his gaze away and flicked his foot to toss the metal creature across the room.

It squealed as it flew across the room, then landed lightly just beside Phil’s foot. A moment passed, and then it flipped over, whirring and chirping happily as it spun around Phil.

“Your little R2-D2 keeps attacking me,” said Dan, belatedly.

Phil scooped up his creation with careful fingers. Dan carefully ignored that his towels parted to reveal a very nice torso. “Don’t be mean,” Phil reprimanded. “He just likes you.”

“It’s an inanimate object,” Dan pointed out.

“_He _ is very animated. And his name is Susan.”

Crossing the room, Dan hefted his backpack onto his bed. “You’ve decided that just now?”

“Yes,” said Phil emphatically.

The robot chirruped.

The dorm room was empty when Dan staggered inside. He almost slipped on a sock on the floor as he shut the door, so he cursed soundly at it. The cartoon penguins decorating it looked mournful as he kicked it to Phil’s side of the room. He dumped his backpack, heavy with the weight of textbooks, too many assignments, and stress, next to his dresser and then sat heavily on his bed.

He took a sip from the wine bottle in his right hand. The alcohol burned when it went down, warming his throat and stomach somewhat unpleasantly. Dan wasn’t entirely sure that it was actually wine.

_ Fucking Phil_, he thought, and then repeated it out loud. “Fucking Phil.” He glanced around the room, making sure that Phil wasn’t actually there, then swallowed another mouthful of dubious alcohol. He had gotten it from the two guys down the hall that peddled suspicious goods, but nearly an hour had passed since then. Dan didn’t quite remember what he had done between then and now, and was almost certain that it wasn’t too important.

Lifting the wine bottle, he examined the contents inside. There was nothing floating inside at least, he noted, but there couldn’t be more than another sip or two left.

He took care of the rest of the alcohol in two swift gulps, then thought for a few long moments and heaved himself backwards to shove the empty bottle between his mattress and the wall. It wouldn’t do for an untimely random room check to find evidence of his sporadic lapse of judgement. It was just… “Fucking Phil,” he repeated. The words felt right on his tongue. “_Fucking _ ...Phil.” He laughed then, a helpless giggle, and slapped a hand over his mouth. He _ wished. _

Dan let himself topple sideways on his bed, then hauled his feet up to the bedspread. His mind felt bubbly.

“_Wooo_,” said something from the floor.

Dan definitely did not squeal. He did not flail and kick one foot into the wall. His toe did not hurt.

Another minute passed before he regained his composure and managed to peer over the side of his bed to the floor.

Phil’s robot sat on the ugly orange rug, antennae pointed directly up at him and tiny sensors whirring indistinctly. It chirped at him, undeterred by Dan’s fragrant breath wafting down toward it.

“Oh,” said Dan. “Hi, Susan.”

Susan whistled in reply. Dan was about 96% positive that Phil had illegally downloaded clips of R2-D2’s sounds and used it for his pet project. The noises were extremely similar, in any case. Dan managed to pull his arm from where it had ended up beneath his stomach - though he didn’t quite know how it had gotten there - and reached down to pick up the robot. He brought it very close to his face to examine it, and one of its bristling wires stroked his nose.

He sneezed and put it on his pillow. It chirruped cheerfully.

“You look...cool.” Dan squinted at Susan. “You look...like you’re missing something.”

“Vroo?” said the robot.

Dan nodded confidently. His head drooped and he slowly let it fall until his forehead rested against the blankets, and there he blinked rather slowly at the indistinguishable blurs beneath him. “Yes,” he said, and then shoved himself upright.

It took him more than a few minutes to drag himself off the bed to dig through one of his dresser drawers and find what he was looking for. He managed to successfully sit back on the bed, but couldn’t quite get one leg all the way up, so he just let it dangle off the side. He piled the handful of items he had collected next to the pillow, where Susan was still patiently waiting.

“You are a cool robot,” he informed Susan. “But you are missing a thing. And that is an eyeball.” He procured the plastic googly eyeball with a flourish, although the flourish nearly broke his hand when he thudded it against the wall. “Ow,” he said.

The robot did not argue as Dan, very slowly and carefully, applied a few drops of glue to the back of the plastic eyeball. He may have gotten a bit on his fingers, but he wiped them off on his jeans. It wouldn’t hurt, surely.

“Here,” said Dan, and affixed the eyeball directly above one of Susan’s tiny whirring wheels. The fake pupil wobbled as the robot tipped on the pillow. Dan regarded it with great approval, and then he applied the other eyeball to the opposite side of the robot.

“Weeooo,” said Susan.

Dan sighed and stroked its delicate frame. “You’re such a good boy, Susan.”

Susan purred. It may have just been the motor running, but Dan preferred to believe that it agreed with him.

Dan sighed again, very heavily. “Fucking Phil,” he said ruefully.

The robot made a low, compassionate noise. Dan stared into the fake eyes he had attached. They contained _ so much _ emotion.

He felt himself tear up. “Why are you so perfect,” he mourned. “With your...stupid smarts and your stupid perfection. Stupid pretty eyes. Stupid hair.”

“Beoop?” questioned Susan.

Dan groaned and slumped sideways to lean against the wall. It was not as comfortable as his pillow would be, but since Susan was currently residing on it he decided to suffer for the moment. At least then his physical torment would match the emotions he felt. “Fine, not you,” he told Susan. “It’s fucking Phil. He’s. Too much.”

Susan beeped sadly. 

“I _ know_, right?” Dan commiserated dolefully. “It’s just...you know?”

Susan’s fake eyes peered up at him, clearly unknowing.

Dan carefully placed a forefinger in front of Susan’s tiny speakers. “Shh. Don’t tell anyone, but...I’m a little drunk. And sad. And…” he sighed, again, “...I like Phil. So, so much.”

“Vrooo,” said the little robot.

“Do you think he would date me if I was a robot,” asked Dan.

Susan, very unhelpfully, did not respond.

Dan heaved a breath and painstakingly squeezed himself next to the robot to lie down. He stared wide-eyed at the delicate chunk of metal only an inch from his face. “You have beautiful eyes,” he told Susan, and then he fell asleep.

Dan woke up with a start when the door to the dorm room slammed shut. He jolted upright, squinting blearily toward the source of the noise. It took him a few moments, but then he was able to make out the figure standing by the door. It was Phil.

“Ungh,” said Dan, and flopped back down. His head spun, a distant memory of his drunken adventures the night before. He half-heartedly attempted to remember what he had done, but the memories were too vague to recall anything other than stumbling to his bed. He might have...talked to Phil’s robot?

“Um,” said Phil, still standing by the door. “Dan.”

With a searing bolt of clarity, Dan remembered that he had glued fake eyeballs to Phil’s robot last night. Phil’s midterms were today, which meant that part of his project had been due today, which meant that...Dan had probably ruined it. He cast desperately back into his uncertain memories, but he couldn’t remember exactly _ which _ part of the project was due.

“Fuck,” Dan said, and then, in a moment of maturity, hauled his blanket over his head to hide from Phil’s gaze. His hand was stuck to part of the fabric where he had attempted to wipe off the glue last night.

“_Dan_,” said Phil.

Dan was silent for a very long moment, and then he groaned quietly. “I’m _so_ _sorry_, shit. I didn’t mean to do it, I was drunk.”

“You didn’t mean to do what?” asked Phil, but his tone sounded somewhat uncertain. Dan was almost tempted to pull the blanket off and look at him.

“I ruined your project, didn’t I? The fucking...eyeball things.”

“What?” Phil seemed confused now. “Oh, no, I wasn’t showing the actual robot today, the complete project is due at the end of the term. I think the googly eyes are cute, actually. They make Susan look friendlier.”

“Oh,” said Dan. His voice was muffled by the blankets. He blinked slowly in the darkness he had inflicted upon himself. “Okay. Uh...what’s up, then?” he tried, then cringed at himself.

Phil cleared his throat. “Well, um. The audio part was due today. You were super asleep earlier, so you probably didn’t hear me come in, go to sleep, then get Susan this morning and take him to the computer labs to...uh...compile the audio he’s been recording over the past few weeks for my project.”

“You...what?” Dan frowned up toward the ceiling - at least, he thought it was up toward the ceiling. He couldn’t really see where it was.

“Yeah, I told you before I started the recording. And you said it’d be fine if I recorded everything, as long as I cut out anything embarrassing. But I left it until the last minute so I had to do it all this morning before my mid-finals today. Anyway, I was just going to compile a one-hour block of random bits of audio from everything he’s recorded.” There was a shuffling noise. Phil shifting from foot to foot or moving closer, maybe. He was rambling. “But...well, he was recording last night. And I didn’t mean to invade your privacy or anything! I was just trying to find bits of audio - stuff that didn’t mean anything, just words or sounds out of order.”

“It recorded me...last night,” Dan repeated. “While I was drunk.”

“Um, yeah - ”

“And you listened to it.”

“...Yes, but - !”

“Nope.” Dan rolled over and smashed his face into his pillow. He had a very vague idea of what he had confessed to the robot last night, but he didn’t want confirmation of it. He didn’t want Phil to gently let him down in his Phil way that would make it impossible to be upset at him. At this moment, in fact, Dan didn’t want Phil to speak to him ever again.

Phil sounded cautious when he next spoke. “Do you...remember what you said?”

“Nmhphp,” said Dan into his pillow. His hand was still stuck to the blanket.

The mattress dipped beside Dan as Phil sat down on the bed. “Did you mean what you said?” he asked quietly.

“I was drunk,” Dan said weakly.

A feather-light touch trailed across his back. He shivered under the blanket. Even with the layers of material between him and Phil, he could still feel the heat of Phil’s hand. It burned him, branding him in place with the weight of his spoken confession that he never thought Phil would hear.

“Yeah,” he said.

Susan beeped from somewhere in the room, a cheerful sound that broke the heavy silence after Dan’s single word faded away.

Dan could feel Phil’s fingers tightening on the blanket, and then the comforting material was pulled away from him. The pillow was warm against his face where he was still buried into it.

“_Dan_,” said Phil, and so Dan rolled over, finally, to look at him.

Phil was smiling.

Dan thought bizarrely that the crinkles at the corner of Phil’s eyes were simply too deep to possibly exist. He wanted to press his fingers into them and make the smile on Phil’s lips grow even wider. He wanted to turn back around and hide from the brilliance of the expression.

“Idiot,” Phil said, unbearably fond. “I like you too.”

Dan just blinked slowly up at him.

“Want to go get coffee?” Phil asked. Still grinning, he brushed a thumb under Dan’s eye. Dan hadn’t realized a tear had escaped.

“Yeah,” he said again, and caught Phil’s hand in his, and a smile crept across his face to match Phil’s.

They stood and they left to get coffee, beaming at each other with enamoured expressions the entire way.

Susan whistled after them, then drove up the side of the bedspread onto Dan’s bed and perched on Dan’s pillow, its googly eyes spinning madly. It chirruped in a way that sounded like laughter.

“You’re such a good boy, Susan,” it said in Dan’s voice.

**Author's Note:**

> [hit that thicc reblog on the tumblr and karma (like me) will be a nice bitch](https://itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com/post/188551020070/robot-in-the-dorms). if you don't, then you hate dogs


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